Inside Blaine's World

Toy Story 3

2010-06-19T00:30:00.005-04:00

Toy Story 3 came out in theaters today creating chaos at my local movie theater. My girlfriend took me to see the movie I've been waiting for since I was 10. And let me tell you, the wait was definitely worth it. It is an amazing movie for everybody of all ages to watch. But don't spend the extra money to see it in 3D, it wasn't that great of a 3D movie. But it was great nonetheless. I recommend everybody to go see it. Hit the link for showtimes! Yahoo Movies

Returning Soon.....

2010-05-26T00:45:00.001-04:00

The Human Centipede

2010-05-04T13:02:00.002-04:00

This is going to be the most talked about movie of the summer.

Robin Thicke and Paula Patton -- It's a Boy!

2010-04-07T20:42:00.001-04:00

Robin Thicke and his "Precious" actress wife Paula Patton welcomed their first child yesterday in L.A. -- forcing the R&B singer to bail on his show last night.

Thicke's rep tells People, "Mother, father and son are all doing well."

The singer pulled out of his Alicia Keys show for "personal reasons" -- A.K.A. the birth of new son Julian Fuego -- but that didn't stop Alicia from offering her congrats onstage.

Thicke and Patton will celebrate their 5-year anniversary in June.

People of Walmart

2010-02-03T11:51:00.003-05:00

Always StrappedIt’s unfortunate that the one strap that is actually working is the one keeping your hair in place...Arizona

Tube Toppin'So, this is either a cross-dressing nautical enthusiast OR…..well, fill in anything, It really doesn’t matter because none of it will make sense...Arizona

Going with the FlowNow kids, much like how you can determine a tree’s age by its rings, you can also judge the level of “party” in a person by the length of the mullet. Write that down...Texas

MLIA 2/3

2010-02-03T11:47:00.002-05:00

Today, the boy I was babysitting wanted to see my basement. I told him that there was lava down there, because that's how we heated our house. I found a red light bulb and turned it on down there to prove that he could see the red from the lava. He's terrified of my basement. MLIA.
Today I gave five dollars and all the spare change in my pocket to a homeless man who's sign read "Brother kidnapped by squirrels, need money for nuts and booby traps." MLIA
Today, I was watching Pirates of the Caribbean 3 with my little sister. My dad called us up for dinner so my sister paused the DVD. At 1:23:45. My sister doesn't get why this is so exciting. MLIA

Jersey Shore Update.....as if anybody cares

2010-01-27T10:23:00.003-05:00

Just because the finale aired last week doesn't mean The Sitch, Snooki, & the rest of the gang are layin' low! See what they're up to.

Today's MLIA 1/27

2010-01-27T10:04:00.002-05:00

Today, I was flirting with a quiet guy in my math class. The girl that everybody hates came over to us and asked, "So are you two love birds going to make out after class?" To which the guy responded, "Yeah, it's going to be me, her, and your mom. Feel free to join in, but you have to pitch in 5 bucks, your mom is expensive!" I knew there was a reason I liked the quiet ones. MLIA

Today's FML 1/27

2010-01-27T10:01:00.000-05:00

Today, the toilet at my apartment still hasn't been fixed. I have to straddle the bathtub for number 1's and go to Walmart for 2's. FML

S U R P R I S E

2010-01-25T18:46:00.002-05:00

DOLPHINS SUCK,
PANTHERS SUCK,
AND SO DOES BLAINE =)

Today's MLIA 11/19

2009-11-19T10:00:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I watched a horror movie and wasn't scared once. Today, my bagel popped out of the toaster and nearly gave me a heart attack. MLIA.

Today's MLIA 11/18

2009-11-18T10:00:00.000-05:00

Today, I asked my dad to make me a milkshake. He told me to make one myself. I responded that I didn't know how to make a good milkshake. He's responce? "Well, that's why your single. No boys ever come to our yard." MLIA.

Today's MLIA 11/17

2009-11-17T10:00:00.000-05:00

Today, a really attractive guy was working out in front of me on the treadmills at the gym. I used him as motivation to run faster, visualizing that I could reach him if I ran fast enough. He kept turning around to look at me. At first I was flattered but then I realized it was because I had been muttering "my precious" creepily under my breath. MLIA.

Today's FML 11/17

2009-11-17T08:00:00.000-05:00

Today, I got a paper back that was given a zero for suspected plagiarism. Everything I wrote was my own thought and analysis. My instructor basically thinks my paper is smarter than I am. He won't listen, even when I explain my thought processes throughout the piece. FML

Today's MLIA 11/16

2009-11-16T10:00:00.000-05:00

Today, some men whistled at me when I walked down the street. I'm a male. I felt pretty. MLIA

Today's FML 11/16

2009-11-16T08:00:00.000-05:00

Today, at school, I got stuck in the elevator and was about to panic before I remembered I had my phone. I called my mother and she called the school to tell them that I was stuck. They got me out in a few minutes and then confiscated my phone and gave me two detentions for using it in school. FML

Monologue Song(La La La)

2009-11-13T22:54:00.003-05:00

Today's MLIA 10/29

2009-10-29T10:00:00.000-04:00

Yessterday I went downstairs to find my brother still playing WoW after about 6 hours. I asked him if he had a life and he looked me straight in the face and said,"I have unlimited lives." Touche, brother. MLIA

Today's FML 10/29

2009-10-29T08:00:00.000-04:00

Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML

Today's MLIA 10/28

2009-10-28T10:00:00.000-04:00

Today, I was downstairs in my basement and my dad told me that my phone had gone off. I went all the way upstairs to my bed to find it was a text from my dad saying, 'Make your bed, and you may as well since you're standing above it right now'. Very creative Dad, very creative. MLIA

Today's FML 10/28

2009-10-28T08:00:00.000-04:00

Today, I found out my mom is the nude model for an art class at my college. FML

Today's MLIA 10/27

2009-10-27T10:00:00.000-04:00

Today I had to pick up my twin sister's 8 year olddaughter up from school early to take her to the dentist. When I got to her class she was in the middle of a verbal spelling test. The teacher asked "How would you spell cough?" My neice replied, "C-O-F-F. Cough." "Well, the dictionary would say it was "C-O-U-G-H." My neice looked confused for a moment and then said "Yes, but you asked my how I'D spell it, not the dictionary. I walked in and gave her a high-five. MLIA.

Today's FML 10/27

2009-10-27T08:00:00.000-04:00

Today, some thug tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves and told a cop that I did it. FML

Today's MLIA 10/26

2009-10-26T10:00:00.000-04:00

Today, I was humming the Mission Impossible theme song as I was walking through Target. Suddenly a guy walked by humming the James Bond theme song. We both paused and stared at one another, then he made a gun with his fingers and shot me. Touche, 007, touche. MLIA

Today's FML 10/26

2009-10-26T08:00:00.000-04:00

Today, I heard my newly divorced parents fighting about who gets to keep me. Neither of them want me. FML

People of Walmart

2009-10-22T13:00:00.000-04:00

It looks like a black hole sucking everything around it in.

-Oklahoma

Today's WTF: Police stop driver for 15 violations in 11 minutes

2009-10-22T12:00:00.000-04:00

Authorities say an Italian man took reckless driving to new heights in 11 frantic minutes of traffic violations in eastern Switzerland.

They say they first spotted the 47-year-old driver as he sped his jeep past an unmarked police car at 100 miles per hour in a rainstorm Sunday.

Driving dangerously close to other cars on the autobahn, he then allegedly ignored police attempts to pull him over — first with a stop sign, and then with flashing lights and sirens.

Police say the man drove through a construction zone at 87 mph, nearly twice the speed limit, before being stopped.

They seized the man's driver's license, and a judge ordered him tested for medications and illegal drugs.

Police said Monday the man racked up 15 traffic violations in 11 minutes.

Today's MLIA 10/22

2009-10-22T10:00:00.002-04:00

Today, I went to the doctor to get a flu shot. The little kid who went before me got a Winnie the Pooh sticker when they left, so I asked the receptionist for one. When she asked me how old I was, I said, "You're going to put an age limit on happiness?" MLIA.

Today's FML 10/22

2009-10-22T08:00:00.000-04:00

Today, when I proposed to my girlfriend of 8 years, she said no because she thought we were moving too fast. FML

Happy Birthday Eminem!!!

2009-10-17T12:24:00.000-04:00

All of us here at Inside Blaine's World would like to wish Eminem a Happy 35th Birthday!!!

FAIL Friday

2009-10-16T17:00:00.000-04:00

Wheelchair Foundation FAIL

Name FAIL
Ad FAIL

Car Door FAIL

Parenting FAIL

People of Walmart Friday

2009-10-16T15:22:00.003-04:00

I bet that “whip” has a lot of “horse power”. Huh? Get it? Get it? Huh? Did you get it?………….Sorry.

-Illinois

Technically those suspenders are working. You don’t normally see them used with jean shorts. Of course I usually don’t see a belly apron just hanging out to say “hi” either.

-Virginia

I’d be licking my lips too if I was lucky enough to be that close to this guy’s junk. Although I guess in these economic times, even the Walmart smiley needs a second job.

-Colorado

This guy is the Ringleader at the circus known as Walmart.

-Unknown

I can’t decide who has the tighter whip: Dora or Thug Kitty. I want to give the nod to Dora for the simple fact that she installed an effective “Haters no Swiping” security system; that’s just smart.

-Florida

Say whayyyt....with Michael Scott

2009-10-16T15:21:00.001-04:00

"Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject, so you know you are getting the best possible information."

Ballon Boy Vomits on LIVE TV

2009-10-16T12:14:00.001-04:00

LMMFAROTFF

New Movie Releases 10/16

2009-10-16T11:50:00.003-04:00

A rambunctious boy named Max escapes to an island where he meets mysterious and strange creatures who crown him their king.

More Info

A young man grows suspicious of his mother's new boyfriend -- is he really the man of her dreams or could he be hiding a dark side?

More Info

A collective work of twelve short films about love, shot by renowned international directors in New York City's five boroughs.

More Info

Gerard Butler stars as a criminal mastermind out for revenge, sending an entire city into chaos from the confines of his prison cell.

More Info

MLIA Friday

2009-10-16T11:27:00.003-04:00

Today, I met a girl named Unique. She has an identical twin sister. No one else thought it was funny. MLIA.

Today, I went through the McD's drive through and ordered a #3 with a cinnamelt. I realized I did not have enough money for the cinnamelt so I quickly drove out of line and pulled in a parking spot by the door. I walked in and, almost as if puzzled as to what I should get, I ordered simply a #3. I was happy to have enough money for the essentials. The man proceeded to hand me a bag and said, "here. there's a cinnamelt in there for you too. some ass hole just drove off after ordering." MLIA

Today, we were talking about heredity in science class. One student asked, "Well, my hair is blond, but both of my parents' hair is brown." The teacher then asked, "What color is the mailman's hair?" He didn't get it. MLIA.

Today, I came across the definition of "creeper" in Urban Dictionary. "Creeper: A person who does weird things, like stares at you while you sleep, or looks at you for hours through a window." First thing that came to my mind? Twilight. MLIA

Today, I was in the checkout line when I saw a mother and her four year old son. The son was screaming his brains out in hope to get a candy bar, but his mother wasn't taking the performance. He proceeded to scream, "If I don't get my candy bar, I'll tell grandma you put daddy's peepee in your mouth!!". The mother dropped all her groceries, grabbed her kid, and stormed out of the store. I've never laughed so hard. You go, little dude. MLIA

FML Friday

2009-10-16T11:20:00.003-04:00

Today, I got a job at McDonald's because I've been really needing money. After work, I got some food with the Monopoly pieces. I completed the set for $5,000, but I can't claim it because I work for McDonald's. FML

Today, my "future" wife got drunk in front of my parents, who she was meeting for the first time. She called my dad a piece of shit and told my mom she wants to tear her own eyes out. FML

Today, my mom said I was the worst of her 5 children. My IQ is 130, an honor student, I don't smoke, I don't drink alcohol, or do drugs. I'm the "worst" because I don't go to church every Sunday. FML

Today, after spending the night at my boyfriend's house, I was heading out the door when he called me back to hand me something I had left at his house a while ago. It was one of my bras. It wasn't until I got home I noticed the cup size was a B. I'm a size D. FML

Today, after I have spent $3,000 dollars in preparations to move in with my girlfriend of 2 and 1/2 years, she confesses she's a mental patient who stole someone elses identity. She was telling the truth. FML

FactsOfThe..WEEK (:

2009-10-11T19:06:00.003-04:00

There are twice as many billionaires in the U.S. today as there were 10 years ago.

The average American dog will cost its owner $14,600 in its lifetime.

5% of Americans never get married.

The name Wendy was created for the book "Peter Pan".

Postal Service inspired Trace Cyrus to start Metro Station.

The first domain name ever registered was Symbolics.com.

Justin Bieber can solve a rubik's cube in less than 2 minutes.

The average office desk has 400 times more bacteria than a toilet.

All babies are color blind when they are born.

Gloucestershire airport in England used to blast Tina Turner songs on the runways to scare birds away.

For every normal webpage, there are five porn pages.

California has issued at least 6 drivers licenses to people named Jesus Christ.

Dirty snow melts faster than clean snow.

About 25 Million Dollars is spent each year on lap dances in Las Vegas, NV.

Bluebirds cannot see the color blue.

Britney Spears books into hotels under the name "Alotta Warmheart."

1% of Greenland's population lives in one single apartment building.

The average person walks twice around the world in their lifetime.

*curtosy of @omgfacts, on Twitter! :)

People of Walmart Friday

2009-10-09T14:00:00.000-04:00

BELLY DANCER

Just try to resist this guy! The unbuttoned work-pants show the ladies that he is all business. You know this trucker is one pickup line away from taking that lady in pink back to his place, which is conveniently parked about 50 yards from the entrance door.

-Arizona

NOT SO TIGHTY NOT SO WHITEY

I guess he thought he could roll his underwear over his pants and use them as a belt…didn’t work.

-Utah

Say whayyyt....with Michael Scott

2009-10-09T11:00:00.000-04:00

"A boss's salary isn't just about money. It’s about perks. For example, every year I get a $100 gas card. Can't put a price on that."

New Movie Releases 10/9

2009-10-09T10:14:00.003-04:00

Four couples embark on a tropical island vacation, only to discover that participation in the resort's couples therapy is mandatory.

More Info

After a young, middle class couple moves into what seems like a typical suburban "starter" tract house, they become increasingly disturbed by a presence that may or may not be demonic, but is certainly most active in the middle of the night. Especially when they sleep. Or try

More Info

A motocross racer dreams of winning the Amateur National Championships, but must juggle his passion while supporting his family.

More Info

MLIA Friday

2009-10-09T10:06:00.003-04:00

Today, my neighbor had a birthday party which included a piñata. I know this because I could hear them screaming from next door, "DIE YOU GREEDY UNICORN!" and "MAKE HIM BLEED CANDY!" my neighbor turned 72 today.
Today, I was in a store pretending to be a mannequin. I saw a little girl running around as her mom tried to leave, yelling, "I haven't said goodbye to everyone!" She proceeded to run down the line of mannequins, hugging them all. When she got to me, I hugged her back. I've never heard anyone scream so hard. MLIA

FML Friday

2009-10-09T09:59:00.003-04:00

Today, I was walking out of class when I saw a girl enthusiastically run to her boyfriend, jump on him, and smother him with kisses. I thought to myself "I wish my girlfriend did that." When the girl jumped off and turned around I realized she did, just not to me. FML
Today, I fainted on the sidewalk. When I woke up, I was still lying on the sidewalk, people were stepping over me and my purse was gone. FML

G Whizz - Life

2009-10-08T18:02:00.001-04:00

People of Walmart

2009-10-08T15:00:00.000-04:00

We were just about to hand out our “Most Gangster Jacket of the Year” award to fuzzy spider, but out of nowhere comes Scarface with a bedazzled necklace and the magically delicious Lucky Charms guy; even Mr. Skulls is a dark horse in this race…..We need your opinions people, this is too hard!

-Minnesota

DWIGHTTTTTTT Schrute

2009-10-08T14:00:00.001-04:00

"How would I describe myself? Three words: hard working, alpha male, jackhammer…merciless…insatiable…"

Today's WTF: 1,725 pound pumpkin

2009-10-08T12:00:00.000-04:00

A high school math teacher has won top honors in a pumpkin-growing contest with a 1,725-pound behemoth that could land worldwide bragging rights.

Christy Harp of Jackson Township, Ohio, took first place at the Ohio Valley Giant Pumpkin Growers annual weigh-off Saturday in Canfield. She won $2,500 and could claim the world title.

Contest organizers say the entry topped the Guinness-record 1,689-pound pumpkin grown in 2007 by Joe Jutras of North Scituate, R. I.

Harp and her husband, Nick, grow the giant gourds on their family farm. Each year they engage in a private friendly competition.

"Last year he beat me by 200 pounds. This year I beat him by 400 pounds," she said. "Very good year! My pumpkin, my side of the patch! We separate the patch and never step foot on the other side!" MSN

Say Whayyyt... with Michael Scott

2009-10-08T11:00:00.000-04:00

"Ready? Comon' guys! Early worm gets the worm."

Today's MLIA 10/8

2009-10-08T10:00:00.000-04:00

Today, I was in health class and my teacher told us a story about how he was telling them the most popular myths about sex. When he told them that you CAN get pregnant the first time he was facing the board and he heard a loud SMACK. He turned around and a girl had slapped her boyfriend yelling, "YOU LIED TO ME!" This made my entire day. MLIA

Today's FML 10/8

2009-10-08T07:00:00.000-04:00

Today, completely excited, I told my mom about this guy from high school, that I had really liked and who had found me on Facebook. He said he regretted not asking me out in high school and offered to fly me out to visit him. Her response? "Has he seen what you look like now?" FML

A day in the life of well.. Me (:

2009-10-07T21:25:00.004-04:00

Hey guys,

So I haven't really posted much about me lately and I feel the need to post something, so I choose you to read this sad excuse for a post. I'm sorry that I am not Blaine, and yes the blog sucks since he's been gone, so I apologize at the lack of talent I possess in this area (blogging). Follow him on Twitter, and tell him to get back or you'll be reading more lame things such as this (@BlainesWorld).

I have all these things on my mind, and maybe you want to share your opinions, just maybe. I was sitting in World Religions class today resisting the urge to turn around and take out the girl behind me, as she is driving slightly.. bonkers. But, I didn't because well lets face it, I'd be suspended. If any of you watch 'One Tree Hill', you'd know of the so called villain, Dan Scott. I read this today looking through quotes that actually meant something to me, and I came across this. "Happiness doesn't come cheap. Hell, if it did we'd all be smiling". He's supposed to be this evil guy, which I mean nobody can disagree with, but his character actually carries so much wisdom and poise with everything he says. It's like it has a deeper meaning then you would ever think at the time.

It's true, happiness isn't cheap. It takes work, and if you think everything is just going to turn out fine. If you think, everyone and everything will ALWAYS be there for you. You'll ALWAYS be wrong. Nothing can ever be perfect. There will always be tragedy, but don't get me wrong, you'll experience so much you'll be grateful for in your life. Some may say losing your hearts desire, will be the most tragic thing you may experience, and I may only be 16, but I think I understand what it means. When you lose that part of you, you'll seem as if a part of you is missing, but you need to think of the beginning. The beginning, where you gained your hearts desire, that's all you could ever dream of happening in your life.

You don't need to be afraid of life. You need to embrace it, every little part of it. Even when you think the world is crashing on you, and no ones there, there will always be someone else out there feeling the same way as you. Your not alone, this world is huge; filled with love, and people who DO care about you, and that's all you'll ever need. We'll always be here for YOU. "Smile, happy looks good on you :)"

I'm just writing this because the whole concept of feeling alone, and having a broken heart. It happens to everyone, EVERYDAY, and we can't choose to ignore it, we have to work through it. I hope this maybe inspires people to actually do something, embrace your life, you only live for so long, make it last - you deserve it.

I love you guys, thanks for reading...I tend to ramble. Bear with me?

Love,
Erin xo <3

"At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just not facing the truth. Some are evil men, at war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil. Six billion people in the world, six billion souls. And sometimes... all you need is one" - Peyton Sawyer (One Tree Hill)

Today's FML's

2009-10-06T22:42:00.002-04:00

Today, I fainted on the sidewalk. When I woke up, I was still lying on the sidewalk, people were stepping over me and my purse was gone. FML

Today, I met my new roommate. I also met her stuffed animals, who introduced themselves to me. My roommate makes inanimate objects talk. FML

Today, my 70 year old coworker gave me a letter telling me he was attracted to me, and wishes to have a relationship in which he can 'hold me in his arms every night'. I'm 21. FML

Today's MLIA

2009-10-06T22:30:00.003-04:00

Today, I found out that the girl who has turned me down on a date, actually turned me down to go to her monthly pokemon sleep over at her best friends house. I wont be giving up on this one. MLIA.

Fun Facts of the Day! [Take4]

2009-10-04T14:00:00.002-04:00

Albert Einstein never wore socks.

The worlds youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.

Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete!

The average person walks twice around the world in their lifetime.

Large kangaroos can jump over 30 Ft in distance.

Crushed cockroaches can be applied to a stinging wound to help relieve the pain.

Pain travels through your body at 350 FT a second.

Follow @omgfacts on Twitter, for all this fun stuff ! (:

Fun Facts of the Day! [TakeThree]

2009-10-01T22:25:00.004-04:00

The most popular sport in movies is boxing.

There are more fatal car accidents in July than any other month.

Men are 6 times more likely to get struck by lightning than woman.

The speed of the average raindrop is 17 MPH.

In mornings, eating an apple will keep you awake better than drinking coffee.

The Pacific entrance to the Panama Canal is farther east than the Atlantic entrance.

In India, people are LEGALLY allowed to marry a dog.

*follow @omgfacts on Twitter, for all of these (:

Weight Limit FAIL

2009-10-01T16:06:00.000-04:00

Deliberating with DWIGHTTTTT!!!!!

2009-10-01T16:03:00.003-04:00

"As a farmer, I know that when an animal is sick, sometimes the right thing to do is to put it out of its misery. With the electricity we’re using to keep Meredith alive, we could power a small fan for two days. You tell me what’s unethical?"

Today's WTF: 5 year old boy kills 800 pound alligator

2009-10-01T15:56:00.002-04:00

Five-year-old Simon Hughes is a real-life gator slayer. Simon didn't even flinch when he and his dad came across a huge alligator. The pipsqueak hunter from Polk County grabbed his gun and shot and killed the 12-foot long monster.

This gator was just five inches shorter than the Texas record, and that's got Simon determined to do it again.

"I wasn't even afraid," said Simon. "Next year I'm going to kill me a bigger alligator."

Simon weighs about 40 pounds, without the gun. The alligator weighs 800. That's 20 times his size. ABC Local

Say whayyyt....with Michael Scott

2009-10-01T13:08:00.002-04:00

"When I said that I was king of forwards, you got to understand that I don't come up with this stuff. I just forward it along. You wouldn't arrest a guy who was just passing drugs from one guy to another."

Today's MLIA 10/1

2009-10-01T12:57:00.001-04:00

Today, I asked my 5 year old niece what she wanted to be when she grew up. I was expecting her to respond with the typical answer of a princess. She replied with, "either Batman or a panda bear." Never have I been so proud. MLIA.

Today's FML 10/1

2009-10-01T08:00:00.000-04:00

I can relate to this one. Well, kinda.....

Today, I bought a fish bowl and a fish for $15. I brought him home and sat him on my desk. Everything was going well until the shelf gave out and his bowl slid off of the shelf... onto my $2,000 computer. The computer is fried and is not covered by the insurance, the fish is fine. FML

Fun Facts of the Day [Take2] !

2009-09-30T17:08:00.004-04:00

If your toothbrush is within 6 feet from the toilet, it can obtain airborne bacteria from flushing.

10,000+ birds die a year from smashing into windows.

No president in the United States was an only child.

On average, your hair will grow 590 miles in your lifetime.

Cat pee glows under a black light.

Johnny Depp lost his virginity at the age of 13 years old.

*Brought to you by Twitter @omgfacts

People of Walmart

2009-09-30T15:05:00.002-04:00

Somewhere over the rainbow....

"This guy is rocking his neon colors like they are going extinct tomorrow! Seriously, we could see you in the dark. Yet, he is wearing long brown socks, which I can only assume is because he is wearing sandals."

-Idaho

Say whayyyt....with Michael Scott

2009-09-30T15:01:00.002-04:00

"In my opinion the third date is traditionally the one where you have sex. Does Holly feel that way? I don't know. I will probably find out tonight. If she starts having sex with me I'll know for sure."

Today's MLIA 9/30

2009-09-30T10:00:00.000-04:00

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was taking her time eating her dinosaur nuggets. I told her to hurry and eat them before they ate her. She bit all their heads off and told me "Now they can't." Well played, offspring. Well played. MLIA

Today's FML 9/30

2009-09-30T08:00:00.000-04:00

Today, I was planning on breaking up with my girlfriend of five years in two days time. She just mailed me a care package that said, "I'd die without you." FML

Deliberating with DWIGHTTTTT!!!!!

2009-09-29T16:51:00.000-04:00

" I have been Michael’s number two guy for about 5 years. And we make a great team. We’re like one of those classic famous teams. He’s like Mozart and I’m like...Mozart's friend. No. I’m like Butch Cassidy and Michael is like...Mozart. You try and hurt Mozart? You’re gonna get a bullet in your head courtesy of Butch Cassidy."

Say whayyyt....with Michael Scott

2009-09-29T16:48:00.002-04:00

"The most important part of a speech is the opening line. When time is not a factor I like to try out three or four different ones."

Class Photo FAIL

2009-09-29T16:45:00.001-04:00

Pricing FAIL

2009-09-29T16:44:00.001-04:00

Manicure Set FAIL

2009-09-29T16:43:00.002-04:00

Parents FAIL

2009-09-29T16:42:00.002-04:00

Where will you be...

2009-09-29T14:00:00.000-04:00

G20 Climate Protest for the Epic Win

2009-09-29T13:57:00.001-04:00

Pittsburgh Penguin fans sure are CRAZY!!! Hahahahaa

People of Walmart

2009-09-29T13:43:00.001-04:00

Holy Cat Lady

I hope she plans on filling the rest of the cart with air freshners! Seriously though, what has to happen for you to decide you want a mullet, a flannel, and 3,472 cats to hang out with? If Mackenzie Phillips doesn’t have a house full of cats, then you can’t possibly have a good reason to either.

Look at ME!

“What?! I’m not wearing this because I crave attention. This stuff is really, really comfortable.”

Today's MLIA 9/29

2009-09-29T10:00:00.000-04:00

Today, my dad was showing our apartment to some friends. He opened my sister's room while she was wearing a face mask with her messy hair and said "Here is where we keep our ugly child slave which will make dinner for us later right?" and without skipping a beat my sister answered "Yes master" with a raspy voice and walked away limping. Seeing the faces of the guest made me love my family even more. MLIA

Today's FML 9/29

2009-09-29T08:00:00.000-04:00

Today, my mother in law gifted us with a new microwave. I told her it was too much and we didn't really need it. Her response, " I just want my grandkids to have food that tastes good for once." I am a chef. FML

Fun Facts of the Day!

2009-09-28T20:45:00.002-04:00

There are three golf balls sitting on the moon.

Sheep can recognize each other through pictures.

Attics were invented in Attica.

It costs around 3 cents to create a dollar bill.

Humans and dolphins are the only mammals that have sex for pleasure.

Manhattan Island was bought off for $24 dollars from the Algonquian Indians in 1624.

Apple seeds are poisonous.

First cameras that ever existed you would have to hold your position for 8 HOURS.

There are approximately 60,000,000 dogs in America alone.

When your face blushes, the lining of your stomach turns red too.

*ALL IN CURTOSY OF @omgfacts ON TWITTER*

Development & Peace

2009-09-28T18:44:00.002-04:00

Hey ya'll!

I'm just writing this quick post to inform you about a project the group TFL - True Faith Leaders (aka. The GOD Squad - hold back your laughter) and I are doing at my school. We could really use all of your help, and it will only take a few minutes of your time.

I'm sure many people have heard about the organization Development and Peace, and if you have not, it is basically a development group working with the Catholic church in order to pursue change to our world, and offer help as needed. If you want to learn more, simply click here.

Now for the point why on earth I'm writing this. The petition in which I'm asking you to sign, is for a simple Cause - Against Hunger. If many of you are new to the blog, and don't know who I am, I'm from Canada, so we are trying to write to our Prime Minister in hopes that our government will be more willing to help those who starve in Foreign/African countries. It really is for a good cause you guys, so if you could help us out and fill it out real quickly(you don't need to be from Canada) it would be much appreciated! Thanks so much in Advance for reading this, and for anyone who takes their time to sign it. Just click the link below, in order to sign. Leave a comment telling me you did or follow me on twitter @ErinDouesnard. Love You :)

TAKE ACTION

xo. <3

People of Walmart

2009-09-28T15:22:00.001-04:00

This my friends is a trifecta….You have (1)the short shorts(Always a plus), accompanied by (2)a tie dyed shirt (It’s not mesh but still fun), and nothing is better than (3)the fanny pack (practical and stylish). If he had flip-up shades it would be a Jackpot, but we can’t get greedy.

My plea to bring Paranormal Activity to a theater near me

2009-09-28T15:02:00.004-04:00

There is one movie that has people all over the nation staying awake at night time, scared as to what will happen when they fall asleep. Paranormal Activity is a movie about a young, middle class couple who moves into what seems like a typical suburban “starter” tract house, they become increasingly disturbed by a presence that may or may not be demonic but is certainly most active in the middle of the night.

Paranormal Activity opened in theaters this past friday (25th of September). But there is only one problem. It is being shown in VERY SELECT and LIMITED theaters near popular colleges. I live in South Florida and the closest theater that is currently showing it near me is in Orlando, 300 FREAKING miles away from me! I really want to see it, but I'm defiantly not driving a total of 600 miles round trip to see it.

I know I'm not the only one with this problem. There are people all over the county that REALLY want to see it. And because of that there is a website where potential viewers can go and demand to have it played in theaters by them. Bring Paranormal Activity to a city near you by demanding it HERE. If you want to watch the trailer, here it is on YouTube. But be warned, you may never sleep again......

Today's MLIA 9/28

2009-09-28T08:00:00.001-04:00

I know one of our bloggers will LOVE this one.

Today, I drove my elderly grandfather to the local meat market. While inside, I saw an inflatable penguin that was suspended from the ceiling. I told my grandpa it was cute. While in line at the checkout, he told me to go take the bags outside, and he would be out in a minute. He came out running towards the car with the penguin under his arm and yelling at me to "gun it, sister"! I love my grandpa. MLIA

Today's FML 9/28

2009-09-28T08:00:00.000-04:00

Today, I had a nervous breakdown. My life has been going down the drain and I called my boyfriend for comfort. I was crying my eyes out, finally getting everything off of my chest that has been bothering me. I thought it was quiet because he was listening closely. I was wrong. He fell asleep. FML

FAIL Friday

2009-09-25T19:00:00.000-04:00

Incentive FAIL

Destination FAIL

Tonight Show with Conan O' Brien 9/25

2009-09-25T16:00:00.000-04:00

Tonight Teri Hatcher and Seth MacFarlane will be guesting on the Tonight Show with Conan O' Brien. The musical guest tonight is Rodrigo Y Gabriela. Be sure to tune in at 11:35/10:35c on NBC.

People of Walmart Friday

2009-09-25T15:00:00.000-04:00

Gym teachers in the 70’s didn’t wear their shorts this tight and this high.

I’m pretty sure muscular guys that constantly work out try to find the most ridiculous clothes to wear in public so they can beat up a smart-ass like me who would ask him for my aunt’s outfit from 1987 back.

WIN Friday

2009-09-25T14:00:00.000-04:00

License Plate WIN

Staircase WIN

Say Whayyyt... with Michael Scott

2009-09-25T13:00:00.000-04:00

"Bros before hoes. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you were nothing but great to your ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you. And then suddenly... she's not yo' ho no mo'."

New Movie Releases 9/25

2009-09-25T11:00:00.000-04:00

This remake of the '80s classic focuses on a group of young students attending a high school for the performing arts. Classmates study various aspects of performance, from dance to songwriting to acting, all of them hoping for the chance to one day become stars. Debbie Allen, Charles S. Dutton, Kelsey Grammer, Megan Mullally, and Bebe Neuwirth portray the instructors, with a host of newcomers toplining the production as the students.

More Info

The filmmaking trio behind the hit sci-fi sequel Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines re-team to explore a future in which humans live in isolation while only communicating with their fellow man through robots that serve as social surrogates and are better-looking versions of their human counterparts. Bruce Willis stars as an FBI agent who enlists the aid of his own surrogate to investigate the murder of the genius college student who invented the surrogates. As the case grows more complicated, however, the withdrawn detective discovers that in order to actually catch the killer he will have to venture outside the safety of his own home for the first time in many years, and enlists the aid of another agent (Radha Mitchell) in tracking his target down.

More Info

Antibodies director Christian Alvart takes suspense into space with this tale of two astronauts who realize that they aren't alone as they drift into the darkest corners of our galaxy. Awakening in their hyper-sleep chamber with no memory of who they are or what their mission is, disoriented astronauts Lt. Payton (Dennis Quaid) and Corporal Bower (Ben Foster) gradually surmise that they are the only ones aboard the darkened spacecraft. But how did they get here, and what are those strange sounds coming from the other side of the ship?

More Info

Prime Suspect writer Allan Cubitt adapts U.K. sportswriter Simon Carr's popular novel about a successful sports journalist who is suddenly saddled with the responsibility of raising two sons from different marriages in this single-parent drama from director Scott Hicks.

More Info

MLIA Friday

2009-09-25T10:00:00.000-04:00

Today, I decided that I'm going to dress up as Kanye West for Halloween and my friend is going to dress as Taylor Swift. When my friend says Trick-or-Treat, I'm going to interrupt her and take her Candy saying how much Beyonce deserves this candy. MLIA

Today, I used the facebook app "Death's Time". It said I would die at the age of 21 from a scorpion sting while in a jungle. I am 20, my birthday is next week, and I am going on a mission trip to the Amazon next month. I am legitimately scared. MLIA

FML Friday

2009-09-25T08:00:00.000-04:00

Today, I found out that my whole family thinks my girlfriend is imaginary. I sent her a text in front of them telling her that. She never responded. FML

Today, I was studying for a test at a coffee shop. A guy walked up, slapped the coffee out of my hand, and punched me in the face for hooking up with his girlfriend on the weekend. Not only was I out of town this weekend, but my $250 textbook is ruined, and I failed the test. FML

Turning into...

2009-09-24T18:14:00.002-04:00

Town Sign FAIL

2009-09-24T18:13:00.001-04:00

Vanity Plate FAIL

2009-09-24T18:12:00.002-04:00

Today's WTF: Woman delivers 19-pound boy

2009-09-24T13:00:00.002-04:00

A mother in Jakarta, Indonesia, delivered a 19.2-pound, 2-foot-long child on Monday via C-Section. The as-yet-unnamed baby’s arrival, chronicled on TODAY Thursday, was marked by a cry that sounded more like a roar and an appetite of epic proportions.

The big baby, a weight record for a newborn in Indonesia, although a bit short of the world record of 23 pounds set in 1879, was likely caused by his mother having gestational diabetes. And even though mom Ani was saved the grueling task of pushing the child out herself, the surgery to bring him into the world was still touch and go.

“This heavy baby made the surgery really tough, especially the process of taking him out of his mum’s womb,” Dr. Binsar Sitanggang told Agence France-Presse. “His legs were so big.”

Big may be an understatement. The child was born at a birth weight that nears that of a year-old toddler, and in a picture taken of the baby alongside a normal birth-weight newborn, he seems triple the size.

What would Michael Scott say...

2009-09-24T12:49:00.003-04:00

"Oh, fun fact. I share my birthday with Eva Longoria. So I have a perfect icebreaker if I ever meet Teri Hatcher."

Today's MLIA 9/24

2009-09-24T10:00:00.000-04:00

Today, while eating M&M's I found a purple M&M in my bag. I'm onto you, red and blue. MLIA.

Today's FML 9/24

2009-09-24T08:00:00.000-04:00

Today, I was diagnosed with diabetes. I went to tell my grandpa, who immediately said, "I'm sorry, let's go get ice cream to cheer you up." FML

i Fell in love at the Apple Store

2009-09-23T17:40:00.000-04:00

Raaaawwwrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

2009-09-23T16:56:00.006-04:00

So my fellow blogger and Pittsburgh Penguin fan Erin reminded us earlier that hockey season starts in just 8 days. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be excited for my life to be "replenished with crushing paralyzing hits, amazing moves,smack talking the refs, temperistic coaches", yea...I left out the gorgeous faces part. As a Florida boy, I represent every sports team in my area to the fullest. So this post is dedicated to the Florida Panthers.

This picture above of Kreps scoring a goal on the New Jersey Devil's goalie says a lot. Look at the direction of where the puck is going. For one it's going in the goal, but it is far left of the goalie. The goalies is miles to the right of the puck. So one thing must have happened. Kreps must have pulled an EPIC fake shot to the left(goalie's right) then quickly fire to the right(goalie's left). Something like that takes skill. Exactly what the Florida Panthers roster is full of.

WOW. This Florida Panther is throwing a nasty elbow to what looks to be a dazed Philadelphia Flyer. My homie Cullimore hit this Flyer so hard that his helmet flow off his head and landed just outside the hockey arena in the parking lot. The entire NHL needs to toughen up if they want to roll with the big dogs, or in this case roll with the big cats. No pun intended.

So let's see if i have this right. Goals....Check. Fights....Check. Ice Dancers....CHECK! I really don't have to say a lot on this one. South Florida is home to some hottest girls that ever walked this planet. You can see exactly what I'm talking about by looking at the picture of the Florida Panthers Ice Dancers above. You can't really ask for more.

I've never been this excited for hockey since I was in 5th grade and was a huge Pittsburgh Penguins fan. But now I'm all grown up and there nothing I want to see more than the Florida Panthers pwning the Penguins. Or eating them ALIVE! FEEL THE GROWL